Holding Yourself Accountable as an Act of Self Love
Repeat after me, "I love and accept myself". This can be a powerful phrase in the right circumstances. But what about the times when there is something that you actually don't want to accept or love about yourself?
What about the stuff that you know you want to improve? How can you accept it?
Many of us beat ourselves up AND let ourselves off the hook for the habits and behaviors we want to change at the SAME TIME. I know, crazy, right? Nicole and I have definitely never done this before (ha, ha, ha).
It can be a vicious cycle that keeps us in a mode of hating on our beautiful, divine selves. We criticize the behaviors or characteristics we don't like but then we do nothing to change it so that we can criticize ourselves some more the next day.
For me personally, I didn't start to really feel comfortable in my own skin until I actually started looking at the things about myself that I actually did find unacceptable. Things like gossiping, not keeping my word, over-committing, etc. Then, as I saw myself working towards my goals of changing these habits and behaviors I finally felt less anxious and more at peace.
In this video I talk about how you can be your own loving parent to work towards self-improvement goals without yelling at yourself in the back of your mind for not being perfect. I also talk about how to differentiate between things that you actually want to improve because it will make you happy and things that other people have simply convinced you that you should improve.
So now I want you to write it down!
1. What are the things you are criticizing yourself about? Make a list.
2. Then go down the list and for each one ask yourself, "Is this something I actually want to change or do I just need to love and accept this part of myself?". If you're unsure ask yourself if this would make you feel happier and more at peace or if it's just something that others made you feel like you should do. (hint: when listening to your own cray-cray thoughts the word should is a red flag!)
3. If it's something you want to change (like my addiction to gossip), first forgive yourself and give yourself some love, then write down 3 ways you can start taking action and DO IT! Even if it's just a small step. It will make you feel a lot better and break the cycle of negative self talk. Now that you are taking action you can truly let yourself off the hook and stop the internal yelling!
4. If it's something that you really don't need to change about yourself spend some time with your hand on your heart really giving yourself the love and acceptance you deserve despite what others might say or think. Often times we think we should change only because society or those around us encourages us to be someone who we are not. Don't listen to them. Listen to your heart.
If you're brave, leave a comment about how the process was for you. I'm sure sharing your experience will help somebody :)
Talk to you soon,