Did you know that February 13th, is International Self Love Day?
It was also the day I was supposed to get married.
I was actually really scared to share this story. It was a very painful and embarrassing time in my life, to almost get married and then to cancel it at the last minute.
Remember Katie's perfectionism video? Ya....I suffer(ed) from that, too. And to admit that I had almost made the biggest mistake of my life, was probably more painful than breaking up with my fiance. It definitely felt a lot more shameful, that is for sure!
International Self Love Day has come to have very special meaning for me. Because, instead of marrying a man that I was going to end up being unhappy with for the rest of my life, I decided to change course and commit to loving myself first. This decision changed the entire course of my life and is the basis for my mission here on the planet. To help as many people as possible, to learn how to love themselves, first and foremost. I do that through owning my business and through treating people with Myofascial Release as well as just sharing my story and bearing witness to the beautiful healing that my clients allow themselves to do on my table.
Since I started sharing some of my story, so many more people have started to get the idea of self love. I see it on tee-shirts now, mugs, everywhere. Its awesome! When I started, I was embarrassed! I didn't talk about it. I knew it was the way to go and that it was helping me feel REALLY REALLY good about myself, but I thought either every one else already knew this and I was just playing catch up or that no one else believed in the power of self love enough to go through some of the healing methods that I was trying.
Self Love is NOT for the faint of heart. You must go inside yourself, like a LOVE WARRIOR and hopefully come out victorious! There is no guarantee. You are roaming around in the dark, without a flashlight, hoping you stumble upon a few clues here and there. Now that I have made it to the other side, it is my honor and I feel, my duty, to help others beat their demons, (or love them, actually) get through their dark night of the soul and come out happy and loving life.
Below, I share a little of my story. (Plus some bloopers...wait til the end!)
(Transcript of video)
hi there it's Nicole, and today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about some of my journey and parts of it that I talked to people about
that seemed to really help them. So the past several years I've been on this journey of self-love and I know that you guys
saw this video about how myofascial release has helped me with my weight loss and weight gains and my body image.
one of the things that I haven't shared with a lot of people (more like just a close-knit circle) was sort of that beginning ramp up to my self-love
and to my commitment to love myself.
so it was five or six years ago I met somebody and we loved each other. We got together and ended up getting engaged to be married.
There were many things about us that matched really well and then there were some things that were a really big struggle.
It was a tough relationship for me. It was a learning relationship though, and in the end we ended up breaking up for various reasons but one
of them just being that he wasn't as committed to the relationship as I was.
And I just remember this point when I decided that I had to end it. I was really really scared because here was this engagement ring on my finger
there was this wedding being planned. There have been announcements to my family and friends and I knew it wasn't gonna work and I was like
AAAHhhhhhh!!! what do I do???
I was googling like how to cancel your wedding... how to cancel an engagement .....what do you do ...and there was like nothing.
and so I just had to make it up as I went along, and I remember at one point looking at that ring on my finger and thinking to myself:
WOW. how could I have gotten so far along in my life and almost committed to this other person before I had committed to myself and my own needs
and listened to who I really needed to be inside?
And so this idea came into my head that I was going to commit to myself and that I should just marry myself ! and so I thought that was a very novel idea and
that nobody else had thought of such a thing, surely. so I googled it and of course somebody had. This woman named Dominique Youkhehepaz.
She created this whole course called marrying yourself and I joined her course and went through the whole course. There were various exercises
on self-love... I also did a bunch of different reading.... books and watching YouTube videos of various masters at this ...I found Louise Hay and her mirror
work and what on this whole journey and I'll tell you more of the details a bit later ....but in that journey there was a ceremony that I created and I ended up
committing to myself and marrying myself.
This is my self marriage ring and it just represents to me ...always committing to honoring my own needs and wishes and
always committing to stopping and listening to what my own needs and wishes are and just kind of exploring that whole realm of what that means...
to be easy to myself. To be kind to myself. and that is basically the foundation of everything that I have done since that point.
and you know as I've gone through this in my life and explained it to people... because a lot of times people ask about my ring ...a couple of years ago when
I talked about it I felt very weird and funny because it was sort of like nobody talked about that stuff and nobody even really did that stuff!
But now it's like trendy and cool and everybody wants to know the story and everybody wants to know how I got there and what I did and so it's one of the
reasons why I'm sharing it now... because I feel like it's things that other people have gone through and other people could use help with so you know that's that's
what I'm here doing and if you have ever been in the situation like that and you didn't know what to do and you want to share with us in the comments below